He’s completely and totally adorable, and sometimes even sports a newsboy cap (reminiscent of Christian Bale in “Newsies,” which has provided me with sexual fantasy fodder since 1992). For the record, if that’s half-gay, I’ll swing that way any night of the week.
He also happens to harbor a sweetness that many New York City guys seem to lack. So when he told me the following week that he was bisexual, and that I’d have known that if I knew him in Chicago, I couldn’t help myself.
I never thought of myself as a straight person either. Woman B: I had always identified as straight; I hadn't really considered any other possibilities.
Woman A: I had my first sexual experience when I was 8 with a girl, but I never really thought of it as "bad" or "gay" or even unusual.
Woman C: I remember being around 11 years old and meeting this girl in my youth group at church who I thought was so pretty.
I would write in my journal about her and pretend that she thought I was just as pretty as she was.
For a long time, I didn't think that I could ever feel about a man the way I felt about women. When I was 15, I started identifying as a lesbian and exclusively saw women, but when I was 17, I started identifying as bisexual.
In this week's Sex Talk Realness, four anonymous women get real about what it's really like to be a bisexual female in this day and age. I dated boys here and there until I hit a two-year span where I wasn't dating men at all during college, and even came out to my parents as gay. For two years, I kind of awkwardly danced around the subject, but she surprisingly never gave up.
In high school, I began to experiment more with some of my girl friends, which led to me dating girls. But when I was 19, this new girl got hired at my job, and she made it very clear that she was interested in me.
Dan Savage once observed that “most adult bisexuals, for whatever reason, wind up in opposite-sex relationships.” Whether or not you’re a fan of Savage (or his sometimes dubious takes on bisexuality), the statistics support his assertion: The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships. Because on the surface, the fact that 84 percent of bisexuals eventually wind up in opposite-sex partnerships could appear to support the notion that bisexuality is, as people so often insist, actually either “just a phase” or a stepping-stone on the path to “full-blown gayness.” Knowing that wasn’t true, I decided to investigate.
Some of my initial suppositions included internalized homophobia, fear of community and family rejection, and concerns over physical safety.It isn’t difficult to imagine that for some, the promise of a bit more social currency and safety could be compelling reasons to seek out an opposite-sex partner, even unconsciously.